Saying NO

Being able to look someone in the eye and say NO without feeling guilty or without explaining myself is one of the most awesome things ever for me.

Growing up, I wasn't ever able to say No to people's requests. Oh wait, I think the only firm time I strongly ever said no to anyone while growing up, was in high school when my friends were trying to give me a boyfriend. My no was a resounding NO, but apart from that event, I couldn't always say no to people.

It always took too much energy for me to do it because I never wanted anyone to feel bad. At my own expense, I took up commitments I didn't want to take up, I said yes to things I naturally wanted to say no to so I could please the next person.

2015, I joined an organization and became part of the executives, but I wanted so badly to leave after a few months. In those months, I looked back at my life and began to feel like a failure. I counted the many things I had been part of in the past, and how many of them I'd quit. I avoided meetings, I avoided picking the calls of the CEO. I wondered if my life was ever going to amount to anything if I kept quitting. In fact, I had all the negative vibes washing all over me in those months. Afterwards, I spoke to a friend about it and he gave me the most satisfying answer/advise I needed. He said…

“You know what? You're still young and shouldn't be tied down. It's okay for you to try out many things, in fact now's the time.”

Perhaps he didn't teach me particularly how to say no, but those words have kept me even till 2017. Today, I said a very big no when someone asked me to give her my laptop to take home. (Duh, that's already a no. ) And in the next few hours, I would be sending an email to an International organization, turning down their offer to make me the Organization’s Coordinator for my entire state. Don't ask me why, it's a sad no for me but my no has to be my no.

With time, saying no gets easier but it's a skill I need to improve.