Sisterhood, Heal, Edify

Stuck between two roads Mom called last night, said she's been seeing me in her dreams lately Says she don't like what she's been seeing Saw her baby girl in a dark place looking all lost and confused Not knowing how i got there buh trying to find a way out Dreams don't lie I told momma Told her that's the path am on right now This journey of finding myself hasn't been an easy one so far Sometimes it's like am loosing it Constantly asking myself what am doing Trying to stay sane in a world filled with so much insanity Waking up to realize nothing is ever as they seem And it goes deeper than you think. That most of the things I grew up knowing has just been big a lie. Learning that society doesn't really support you trying to be yourself Else you are signing up to be criticized and laughed at for being different Most humans being controlled by one thing or another, Afraid of looking a failure Goals and dreams waiting to be fulfilled ...

Being able to look someone in the eye and say NO without feeling guilty or without explaining myself is one of the most awesome things ever for me. Growing up, I wasn't ever able to say No to people's requests. Oh wait, I think the only firm time I strongly ever said no to anyone while growing up, was in high school when my friends were trying to give me a boyfriend. My no was a resounding NO, but apart from that event, I couldn't always say no to people. It always took too much energy for me to do it because I never wanted anyone to feel bad. At my own expense, I took up commitments I didn't want to take up, I said yes to things I naturally wanted to say no to so I could please the next person. 2015, I joined an organization and became part of the executives, but I wanted so badly to leave after a few months. In those months, I looked back at my life and began to feel like a failure. I counted the many things I had been part of in the past, and how many o...